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Archive for May, 2009

Phil Ivey is the poker Devil

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

mtdesmoines say-

“Ivey is a poker devil.

I don’t know what that means.
But if there is a poker devil, it’s Ivey.”

The devil logged into heads up, he was looking for some blinds to steal.
He was in a bind ‘cos he was way behind: he was willin’ to make a deal.
When he came across this young man playing on a table and playin’ it hot.
And the devil put on his poker face and said: “Boy let me tell you what:
“I bet you didn’t know it, but I’m a poker player too.
“And if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll make a bet with you.
“Now you play some pretty good poker, boy, but give the devil his due:
“I bet a stack of gold against your soul, ‘cos I think I’m better than you.”
The boy said: “My name’s durrrr and it might be a sin,
“But I’ll take your bet, your gonna regret, ‘cos I’m the best that’s ever been.”

durrrr you shuffle up your cards and play your monster draw.
‘Cos hells broke loose in Full Tilt and the devil deals it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny chip stack made of gold.
But if you lose, the devil gets your soul.

The devil opened up his cards and he said: “I’ll start this show.”
And fire flew from his fingertips as he made it a million to go.
As he fired the chips across the felt they made an evil hiss.
Then demons on the rail joined in and it sounded something like this.
When the devil finished, durrrr said: “Well you’re pretty good ol’ son.
“But if you’ll sit down in that chair, right there, and let me show you how its done.”

Fire a reraise into the pot, run boys, run.
The devil’s in the house of the risin’ sun.
durrrr just reloads, he doesn’t run out of dough.
“durrrr, does his bluff work?”
“No, child, no.”

The devil bowed his head because he knew that he’d been beat.
He laid that golden chip stack on the ground at durrrr’s feet.
durrrr said: “Devil just come on back if you ever want to try again.
“I told you once, you son of a bitch, I’m the best that’s ever been.”

Stolen and ruthlessly hacked to pieces from the Charlie Daniels band, sorry Charlie

Dante’s Inferno

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

J6 continues his decent.

If Dante had Virgil, then J6  has ATC, who’s name is now changed to Captain Overbet or just Captain for short.

The Game: No Limit Holdem

The Location: At the Captain’s house

The Players: A big game this time, with lots of players back on the tour, The Rapper, Nice Guy Eddie, Woody, Ace, The Mouth, Ontario, The Captain, J6, and Alejandro.

The air is electric as everyone settles into their seats in the Captain’s poker  room complete with foosball table on which Nice Guy Eddie squeaks out a lucky victory over The Rapper, and huge screen TV that The Captain hasn’t quite figured out how to get the hockey game on yet.

The game starts out quick and the tone is set that this is going to be a night of loose money calls from a table full or Antonius and Hansen wannabes.

The Rapper quickly gets stacked by Ace when his AJ gets taken down when Ace flops two pairs with his A8.

Nice Guy Eddie quickly builds up a huge stack as he makes good calls, reads and luck box flops, The Captain has his stack flowing up and down as he also is making typical moves like bullying flops with 5 and 6 times the pot bets which leaves the rest of the table shaking their heads and having no idea as to what he is holding.

The Rapper builds up his stack and then gets it chopped down by Ontario when they both flop sets and the case card to save The Rapper has already been folded. Easy come easy go. I looked around on the net to see what the odds were of that, and there seems to be a bit of discussion on it, not sure if I can really understand it that much and if i was maybe a beer or three less in the bag I might have been able to make the read to lay it down, but with the pot odds at that time and the set over set odds of anywhere from 500-1 to 1035-1 depending on who you believe, it wouldn’t have been the wisest move anyways.

Back in the pocket.

Nice Guy Eddie sees his stack now dwindling and Ontario’s stack is flush after chopping down the Rapper he gets involved in a huge hand with The Captain.

After some serious raising to get the pot built up pretty big preflop Ontario is trying to put the Captain on a hand. The railbirds are chirping away and the consensus from the group is that The Captain holds KK and Ontario is siting AQ and chasing 3 outs. Ontario makes the call and the flop comes 94A and Ontario pushes his chips into the middle goes to sit on the sofa and The Captain goes into the tank. Ontario has a pretty deep stack at this point so the amount at stake is a lot at this point, The Captain has a small chip advantage but it would leave him pretty low if he lost it.

After a long time in the tank and counting the pot, looking at his hand, The Captain sighs, calls and turns over his cards. KK. Just too pretty to fold and he is searching for 2 outs. Ontario sure enough turns over AQ and is an 87% favourite. Turn card is a KING!!!!!!! and Ontario is drawing dead. Ship it.

After flopping two pair against Ace and getting some action with a raise and a reraise, the turn is checked and the river checked to Ace who takes a very large shot at the pot. Some careful thinking back and a decent read and call takes it down as Ace turns over a weak A6 and The Rapper takes it down with his J5 two pairs. The downward spiral finally stopped.

Lots of big hands here and there with Alejandro getting run over by everyone, coming up on the short side of the flush against The Rapper continuing the streak.

The Mouth wins a big three way pot when he draw out on Woody and The Captain to make the nut straight and has a big stack. The Rapperproceeds to take it all away from him on a flop of 88J when he reraises all in and The Rapper turns over 85, no word on what The Mouth had on that hand, he said it was a pair but somehow got his hand in the muck before he could show it.

J6 who was obviously upset from the prior night came with his game face on, game face meaning sunglasses and a scarf that he wraps around his face to try and mask any type of tell, sort of a mush mouth from Fat Albert meets Arabian Sheik.

Poker is serious business

The outfit how ever fails to improve his game and J6 comes out on the short end of the stick more than a few times. The descent continues.

End of the game has The Rapper up a bit, with The Captain taking the bulk of the treasure chest home with him though. A great game all in all with tons of action and drama, we will really need to see about somehow making a poker table one day complete with cameras to see just how crazy these games are. Taking 6 people to the flop on a 8x raise of the BB just has to be exciting to watch on TV.

Bankroll Update: Tourney success

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

Been a very busy beaver lately, not so much with poker but more so with life and work and such.

Summer time is here so I have been getting the yard work done after the snow finally melted and that takes a lot of time.

Have another job so now I’m working about 12-16 hours a day at least. Oh well, times are tough and you have to do what you can do. I think I need to be glad I have something to keep my mind busy and it’s nice to be busy with something new, keeps life interesting.

My bankroll was getting up there for a while and I’m not sure if I got lax and stopped playing well or the bad beats just took their toll but I slipped back down to the point where I would have had to start re-thinking my buyin level on a number of tournaments.

I decided to just shore up my game and go with a higher price 1 table SNG and those seem to be my strongest game. Top 3 player’s get paid in this one, 1st and 2nd tie for a 4 buying payout and 3rd gets their buyin back basically. I ended up winning and that was a boost of confidence.

Then I took down 6th in a 90 person multi table event to add a few more dollars to the account, came in on the short stack again though which I need to work on not doing so I stand a better chance of winning but a cash is a cash and my all in to get knocked out got rivered by the chip leader so no big deal.

I entered another one of the same events than this time took down 2nd place for a pretty decent payout, the knock out bonuses alone I got in this tournament were double my entry fee and I would have loved to take down first but quite honestly played bad when it got to three way as I had a slight chip lead and the other was a really low stack and instead of working on taking him out I played to passively and then got chipped down on one questionable laydown. Oh well something to work on and my biggest tournament cash to date so a step in the right direction. I came to the final table 3rd in chips in this tournament which was a real change of pace for myself and made a few plays that I don’t normally do. Also had hands like AA and KK hold up much more often than they usually do which did make the later stages a lot easier than normal.

Bankroll is almost 100 times the starting point after the freeroll win and looking to keep it moving upwards.

Poker Babes: Isabelle Mercier

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

Isabelle “no mercy” Mercier

It was hard to find a great picture of Isabelle, she is much hotter on video than she is in a photo, maybe its because of her accent but I doubt it. Something in the way she moves? Could be. Evil grin? Very possible. She does have a super sexy walk….hmmmm maybe onto something there. The fivehead? Possibility. Kit Kat? Yes! Though I have always been a fan of the blondes, Isabelle is definitely an exception to the rule.

isabelle-pokerstars

Any chance she is as aggresive in the sack as she is at the table?

isabelle-mercier-ass

Isabelle Mercier

isabelle-mercier

Oh to be a banana

Finding a needle in a haystack

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Well look at what we have here…

Yep, managed to find a whole bunch more posts and now have to start loading them all in.

Will be reloading the pictures and promise to have the poker babes section up to snuff soon.

Am working on trying to get some more work to get me through the next couple of years of slow stuff so I may not have as much time for this but am going to be without a TV soon and no plans to replace it really so I think I will have some extra time free there to really work on more productive ventures like this.

Sun is starting to shine and I’m feeling a little better which is getting my energy levels up a bit.

Going to go get myself a beer and have a hamburger for dinner tonight to celebrate a “good day” as far as days go for me lately.

Buddy lent me Laird Hamilton’s book to read and I am really enjoying it. Great easy read for anyone that loves surfing.

Pokertionary: Poker terms

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Just some random terms you may see used here that don’t fit into the the hand names post

TAG: Tight Aggressive a style of play in which the player usually only plays good starting hands, but then bets them once he starts

LAG: Loose Aggressive a style with a wider range of starting hands, but will make plays at pots at all times

Donkey or Donks: Players other than myself, usually newer players or ones that make plays counter to the math that operates behind the game.

Hole Cards: The cards everyone is dealt which are their own for the entire hand. Two in Holdem and Seven Card Stud, 4 in Omaha, 5 in Draw.

Flop: The first three community cards turned over, all at once, after the initial first round of betting has taken place.

Turn: The next community card turned over, also called fourth street.

River: The last of the community cards, also called fifth street.

Dealer: Dealer of the cards in the home game, also denotes a position at the table, also referred to as The Button. Dealer is the last to act on all rounds after the flop.

Small Blind: First of the forced bets, small blind is the first person to the left of the dealer.

Big Blind: Second of the forced bet and twice as big as the small blind, it’s the person on the left of the small blind.

Under the Gun (UTG): Refers to the player that is first to act, before the flop it would be the person to the left of the dealer, after the flop and on every successive round it would then move to the Small Blind position.

Cutoff: Refers to the position at the table of the person to the right of the Dealer.

Ante: Is a forced bet by players to get cards, in some games all players pay an Ante of some sort, in others it is just the Blinds. And example would be a tournament where the Small Blind was $25, the Big Blind was $50 and all player paid a $5 Ante.

Outs: The number of possible cards left in the deck that will “make” your hand. An example would be if you have a 2 suited cards in your hand and there are two of those suited cards on the flop, you can assume that you have the other cards left of that suit to make your hand, 13 original cards minus the 2 in your hand and the 2 on the flop leaves 9 cards or outs left.

Pot Odds: The ratio of the bet to you versus the amount of money in the pot. Imagine there is $9 in the post and the bet is $1, you are now getting 10-1 pot odds on calling the $1.

Implied Odds: This has to do more with the players at the just the math, it has to do with what you feel the chance of other players making the call after you are, or the chance that you feel you will be able to bet and get paid after the next card comes. An example may be calling a raise from a tight aggressive player with a small pair in your hand knowing that if you do hit a set on the flop and they catch part of the flop, or have an over pair you will get a much larger bet paid off to you in the action to come.

All In: In No Limit games, a player has no limit as to the amount he may bet, and a All In bet is the player saying he bets all the chips he has in front of him.

Position: A term used to denote whether you act before or after another person in the hand. If you act before the person you would be Out of Position and if you act after the person you would be In Position or Have Position on them. A very important part of poker, very much so with larger amounts of players at the table.

Full Ring: Refers to the amount of players at the table. A Full Ring usually means 9-10 players.

Short Handed: Less players than a Full Ring game. Short handed usually refers to 6 or less players.

No Limit: Other than the blinds and antes, in a No Limit game, a player may bet as much as they at anytime, or there is No Limit to the amount they may bet.

Cold Deck: A reference to having a deal that looks like it was set up, from the days of poker cheats who would switch decks when it came to their deal to a deck that hand the cards all set up to make an action hand that would ultimately get a lot of money in the pot and still have them win. An example would be to deal out cards that would give a player a full house, another four of a kind and another the dealer a straight flush. Also used to  when dominated hands get sucked out on, ie. AA losing to KK when a K hits on the flop.

The Nuts: A term used to signify the absolute best hand possible given what is on the board. The Nut flush for instance in a term used to signify the Ace high flush if there is no possible straight flush.

Kicker: The card used to break ties when both players have the same hand. For instance, if both players had a pair of Aces, an Ace in their hand and an Ace on the board the winner would be decided by who had the next highest card. If the board was A8723 and one player held AQ and the other AJ the Q in player ones hand would be the higher Kicker and the player with the AQ would win.

Check: Check means to pass on you option to bet to the person to your left. If you were the big blind in a hand and everyone had called the blind up before you and you don’t wish to raise you would say check and the action would move to the next person.

WSOP: World Series of Poker. For the most part used in reference to a poker tourney held in Las Vegas Nevada in which the Main Event is played, now it is a series or tournaments played around the world.

Main Event: The big game at the WSOP. A $10,000 entry fee open event of no limit hold’em. The Main Event attracts upwards of 8,000 players and is considered the Super Bowl of Poker.

Pokertionary: Tilt

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

On Tilt, Steaming, Foran’ing, whatever you want to call it; it is a poker term for the mental state when a player adopts a “less than optimal” strategy.

There are many causes for Tilt, but just to name a few:

1. Folding a winning hand to a bet only to have your opponent turn over a bluff

2. Having an opponent “suck out” on you and beat your hand, this is made worse when the pot odds are not in line with the odds they made to draw to the card.

3. Frustration of getting unplayable hands time after time.

4. Standing up to an aggressive player who is always raising, only for them to end up with a dominating hand when you do, ie. AA vs KK, also called the Cold Deck.

5. Some players can be put on Tilt just with conversation, commenting on the way they play their cards, their choice of hands and or bets can make some players lose concentration.

6. Although not something that ever happens in the Home Game, I have heard that excessive consumption of alcohol can sometimes cause players to play a little on Tilt.

A good player avoids Tilt, but all players will at sometime in their poker career fall into the trap. Recognizing when another player is on Tilt can make it quite profitable if you have the right cards

Poker Food: What to eat when you are playing cards

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Seeing as how a poker game can often go for hours and hours on end, tournaments especially of the WSOP and WPT variety are often played down to a certain amount of players before there is a break, it would seem logical to want to reload on some energy during the game.

The Home Game started off really strong, everyone would bring something to eat and we would set up a buffet of sorts on a side table from which the players could get up between hands or after they were knocked out of a tourney and get a plate or two to keep them going.

Somehow this slowly chipped away likes Alejandro’s stack after 10:00 until we were down to a bag or two of microwave popcorn or the Costco size bag of chips that Ontario seems to have and endless supply of.

Now we still throw together the odd shindig, of note was the Super Bowl game at Chateau Ace, the Steak night at Club J6, the Spring rolls made by English Bob, or the Pizza nights at Poker Dave’s. The Captain always the gracious host is often supplementing the game with a nice bottle of Single Malt and some nuts that are go well with the beers.

What is the perfect poker food?

Supposedly the Sandwich and Sushi were both invented so that gamblers would not have to stop their game in order to grab some nosh.

Sandwich

It was named after John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich, an 18th-century English aristocrat, although he was neither the inventor nor sustainerof the food. It is said that Lord Sandwich was fond of this form of food because it allowed him to continue playing cards, particularly cribbage, while eating without getting his cards greasy from eating meat with his bare hands.

Makes sense, the variety of ingredients you could use are almost limitless and they are fairly easy to make, although my favourite the Clubhouse is not exactly the most game friendly sandwich around.

Personally I’m a big fan of Sushi you can easily eat almost any type with one hand during the game with little effect on your play. Not nearly as easy to make as a sandwich, but fortunately there are lots of great places for takeout in my area.

Those would seem to be the real two front runners of the game, though you see Poker Pros eating all kinds of food at the table, I guess because they have a waiters to bring them anything they need and those cool little tables to put their food on too. As long as you aren’t getting the chips and or the cards all greasy I guess anything is good. Just don’t be like that bitch Tiffany Michelle and eat french fries with your fingers after getting your hands on chips that have probably been touched by 8,000 people and being too much of a know it all to realize you should use a fork after someone mentions it.

Jamie Gold was often seen eating fresh blueberries at the Main Event and I think Daniel Negreanu’s mom makes him his food, is he a vegan? I can’t remember.

The brain apparently functions better if it has the proper amount of protein so keep that in mind with meal planning, I personally find caffeine to heighten my senses, but too much will make some people fidgety which would be problematic for a long game.

Anyways, all the food talk is making me hungry, I’m going home for dinner

Poker and Cigars.

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Like apple pie and ice cream, steak and potatoes, Bordeaux and stinky cheese, Cigars and Poker go hand in hand.

In fact, I’m not sure one would exist without the other. Oh sure, there is always golf, but is there any other activity in the world that has you sitting around for hours and hours on end without getting bored? In the careful hands of a well seasoned poker player the cigar may even enhance ones play. A careful puff here or there, a thoughtful roll or the cigar between the lips, a chomp, a flick of the ash, these could all help a player who knew their opponent was looking for information.

Being from the True North Strong and Free, rather than the Home of the Brave, I get to enjoy the good stuff. Oh sure there are people that will tell you that you can get just as good a cigar from Nicaragua or Jamaica or some other place, but do you know who those people are? Americans. People that know and are not denied one of life’s great pleasures by the most unnecessary grudges the civilized world has seen know that the Cuban cigar is as good as it gets. It’s the the one all are measured against, and the one that they will forever be compared with. Like Wine from France, Whiskey from Scotland and Blondes from Sweden, some places just have the right growing conditions to make perfection seem easy.

I can’t really say I have a favourite because each cigar has it’s own personality of sorts, while I find the Romeo y Julieta Cedros Deluxe No. 1 to be a great all around cigar, one that is easily on par with the Coronas Especiales as my favourite day to day smoke, if my lungs could handle them all the time, and I had the income to afford them, then nothing would touch my lips other than Romeo y Julieta Churchill, and Cohiba Lanceros and Esplendidos. Sad to say that in this day of healthy living and quasi political correctness there is naught a single place that I can enjoy one of these bad boys indoors anymore. Seeing as I live in a ski resort, the winters are rough and long, the only cigars I seem to enjoy for everything but our two weeks of summer seem to be around the fire pit rather than sitting over a nice game of cards with a scotch taking all my friends money.

Which segues into my next train of thought, what is the perfect drink to go with a cigar and a poker game?

 Scotch is my preferred drink to go with a cigar, a nice single malt, usually a highland, Speyside to be specific, but I like to be flexible and sitting around drinking scotch all night doesn’t usually do much for my card playing. A nice Guinness or two is always nice, and I can last a lot longer drinking Guinness than I can scotch. If we start early in the day, the drink of choice has to be an espresso, if you don’t drink a good coffee with your cigar this is a must try, I got onto it from watching all the cigar tasters and they all drink coffee when smoking, it enhances the flavour of the cigar to say the least.

Back in the day we could sit in the cigar room and play all night drinking Guinness with a side of single malt till the wee hours of the morning.

The good old days. *sigh*

Anyways, if anyone needs to pick up some sticks, this goes for you ‘mericans too, just drop my buddy Rob a line here, http://www.cigarsofcuba.com/ here is sure to get them to you, no problems shipping them down to the US of A even. Quality stuff. No, I don’t get anything for the plug.

Poker Games: H.O.R.S.E

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

H.O.R.S.E is a mixed poker game of the following:

H-Hold’em

O-Omaha

R-Razz

S-Seven Card Stud High

E-Seven Card Stud High/ Low Eight or better

Played in a rotation that changes after either a fixed amount of time (like and hour) or after every rotation of the dealer.

The HORSE tourney at the WSOP was introduced in 2006 and has a $50,000 entry fee versus the $10,000 for the Main Event, and is thought to crown the best all around poker player.

Hopefully I can get these donkeys to play this in the future, would make the game a lot more interesting I think.